Coming to a new work space full of fresh energy, enthusiasm, inspiration and best intentions to do the best you can only to get crushed from every angle, one doesn’t have much or any motivation left for staying in such a work environment. Sounds familiar? I hope not – for your sake.

What happened

In a nutshell: a coworker was rude, impolite, as disrespectful as one can be and falsely accused us of being wrong on a daily basis. This happened over a course of one year – it went from ok to bad to horrible. One specific person was able to do all that for me and several other (very good and pleasant) coworkers. So after some months, almost a year, I took some time to think and set myself a deadline to make a final decision about what to do. After carefully weighing my options I chose to take my own advice I always give – if you’re not satisfied with the situation you’re in, change it. Do whatever you can to do so. In this case I asked for a meeting with the HR and stated I will no longer be staying at the same position after my contract expires (they were acquainted with the coworker problem for several months and understood, but couldn’t dismiss her as she had specific knowledge they needed, they looked for a replacement but couldn’t find one). I respectfully expressed the desire to change my position and made it a condition – the only way I would be staying is at a different position or for a higher pay role for a limited time – to give the company more time to find a replacement. I still had enough enthusiasm, inspiration and motivation to stay, to do my best, only if the company still needed or wanted me under the named conditions. I wasn’t there for money (the paycheck was hardly useful), I was there to make a change for the better. If an employee can’t see that, show them how much you want to do good (not just tell them), if they still can’t appreciate it, loose them. You’re better off elsewhere.

When talking to people about this kind of a specific coworker situation, whether employees or friends, no one seems to be willing to talk about. The last thing anyone in this situtation wants to hear is »we all have one«. Which is what happened to me constantly, it was all people had to say. Yes, it’s sadly very often that many stumble upon this kind of a situation, but nobody seems to even try to understand. What a person who complains about a bad work environment wants to hear is either a word of sympathy or a good advice on how to deal with such situation if the person in the conversation happens to have one. If not, it’s best not to say anything and just try to be a mental support. We’ll get the situation sorted sooner or later, but in between, just some friendly support is very welcome. Oftentimes that is more than enough.

What I did

One way I dealt with it was that I changed my perspective of the whole situation. I simply decided that I liked my work, which I did. It wasn’t my dream job, but I liked it. At first I synthesised the feeling of positivity about my work place, soon, during the first day of trying things already changed. The coworker’s attitude changed, but more importantly, I changed, my spirit came back whole and could not be broken anymore. And the positive change persisted. I don’t have an explanation for this, maybe it’s manifestation or something like that, but this worked. It was nothing I said or did (though I tried many different approaches), I just changed the way I thought about my workplace and things changed within days, hours even. No matter the change, I made my decision prior to this and stuck to it because I knew and felt it was the right one.

What to do

Here’s my general advice about making a change: 1. make a clear goal about where you want to be in your work situation, 2. make a plan to reach that goal and 3. stick to it, no deviations.

Such situations are a good learning experience. If nothing else, in this case I learned two things – how to recognise these sort of problem causing people right away and to not to let them get to me in ANY way. The third would be how to deal with this sort, but I’m not sure I’m there yet – to be able to say I know how to deal with them and tell you. I tried several things and one of them worked. That’s how we learn anyway. It’s how science works. Experiment/try until you either confirm or discard a theory.

One other thing I learned was about myself. Before such an extreme encouter I thought I was stroger and able to deflect such personalities by far, that they could never even come close. This one proved me wrong. So much so that at times I felt threatened. As sickening as all of it was, it was also very, very good as it made me significantly stronger. No such person will ever come even remotely close to getting to me. They will go running away before even coming close enough to be bounced away. All in all, this was a long way away from pleasant, but I’m glad it happened. I feel great now, close to invincible.

I didn’t go describing the exact situations that went on. Partly, because specific situations aren’t that important as seing the big picture and mostly, because I didn’t want to through it all again in my thoughts and even more, write about it.

I came across an article with a very good quote, fitting for this topic: ‘As a sovereign being, I claim full ownership of my energy field. Any energy, being, or entity, that is draining me or my energy field, no longer has my permission to remain in my mind, body, or energy field. I honor you and wish you well, but you cannot stay, and you cannot return. Through the protection and power of the highest vibration, I command this to be so, and so it shall be.’

The main thing is – endure, persist

I hope and wish that you never have the »luck« of being in such situtation, but if you ever do, these pieces of advice might come in handy.

If you ever have the (mis)fortune of having to work with such a disgrace of a person, just know that no matter how bad the current situation and no matter where it may seem to be going, things will turn out for the best for you. Your job is to make this dreadful time as short as possible, find a solution as quickly as possible and learn fast. You will inevitably come out a stronger, wiser person.

If you need more motivation, just listen to this song. Mood and motivation lift guaranteed. 😀

Update on the situtation here.