Do you feel like you rarely (or never) fit in with the groups of people around you? Excluding our own groups of friends – with those we found each other by intention, not by chance. Fact.

I tried to fit in with the general majority for years. All this trying dragged throughout my childhood, and school years. University was an exception as biologists are a special branch of humanity. Biologist souls put together work very well, even perfectly.

Then the work part of life comes. As long as I worked in my area – biology and nature conservation, the relationships were perfect as we all worked for the same goal, no matter our differences. Which weren’t many to begin with anyway.

Once I fell into the business world, partly by choice, partly by some sort of coincidence, as I was merely curious what that world was like, things changed. There are different people there, I haven’t found a single relatable soul. Not even close. Not that I was looking, nor needed it, it was a mere observation.

So much trying, never succeeding to fit in. Until a few years ago. I realised there’s no use. And why try in the first place? To not stand out? Which is what I prefer, by the way. But if you’re here to be special, accept it. We’re way better off this way. Being in my own world is way, way more interesting than anything in the society around me anyway. Mostly alone, very rarely lonely.

Think how much better off we are when we just stop pushing for this.

Throughout my path I learned it’s best when you just don’t try to fit in, to be likeable. Which is, let’s face it, something we all want, even the creative introverts. To be pleasant, accepted, liked and have the least conflicts as possible. But once we realise this is just not how it goes, life opens up.

So what we’re saying is, be yourself. As written and said so many times. That’s what it always comes down to, basically. But with a twist, base your encounters, whatever form they may be, on respect and kindness.

Make your life simpler and easier: be respectful and kind always, in all social environments, no exceptions, no matter what mood you’re in. This is not about putting on a shield, or trying, or not being yourself, this is just accepting yourself combined with a socially fluid base.

There’s no need to make friends in every area of your life. Just use the environment you find yourself in (either by choice or by some coincidence) for observation and learning. This can help you make life changing decisions. It may not be great, awesome or fancy, but it’s definitely not bad either. Most times good is good enough.

Are you more introvert or extravert? In what way do you feel your social live is easier, by putting on a shield and a »fit in stance« or by being yourself?